Pilar Sanders Speaks What She Learned From Divorcing Deion Sanders
Former wife of ex pro ball player Deion Sanders spoke candidly with Hello Beautiful! in recent interview. They spoke on many things but there were a few things that we think all women should hear while or prior to getting into a relationship. Firstly, we never want to lose our identity. Secondly, we want to keep a hold on our children’s behaviors. Thirdly, we need to recognize domestic abuse for what it is and why we don’t need to deal with it.
Take a look at some excerpts from the interview that we thought makes a world of a difference in what women need to keep in mind.
HB:It seems that when you do a search online about Pilar Sanders, nothing but negative news items appear, what can and/or are you willing to do to make people see you in a positive light?
PS: Negative, only because now of the divorce and everything surrounding it. Most divorces aren’t happy occasions. Neither is mine. My divorce just happens to be with an ex pro baller (football and baseball) and is filled with abuse, lies, and part-time parenting. All I can do is be me. …Anything negative about me came from lies and or from those who don’t know me. But I can’t worry about that, all I can do is live my life the best way I can…
HB: If you can do anything in life over again, what would it be and why?
PS: …I would have definitely remained focused on my career a lot longer before getting married and taking a hiatus. I would’ve still had my babies, but I would also have Pilar. You know what I mean? I would be the successful actress, model, the savvy entrepreneur, then the wife and mother – in that order. Now I’m going backwards, back to my roots of acting and will finally utilize my savvy business skills for myself and not focus on building my partner. I’ve learned that we as women can’t stop doing ‘us’ for the sake of taking care of our husbands. As women, we are natural nurturers, we are known to put our stuff, our career and lives on the back burner to make sure that our men are “on point.” I wouldn’t do that again. I now know I have to do Pilar FIRST and everything else will fall into place.
HB: What would you do if you saw your children acting in a similar way you and your ex acted?
PS: I have seen that! My boys were beginning to treat my daughter and every female around them how they saw my husband treat me and it broke my heart! I had to immediately confront this behavior and consistently bring truth to what they were doing and as to what they witnessed… I am still in the process of removing my children from having to witness such disrespect and male chauvinism… I continually speak with my children and they are coming along. I know they love their sister, their mommy and women, it’s important for me to keep them level headed.
HB: You say that you were abused by Deion, if he wasn’t a successful athlete, would you have allowed him to get away with what he did get away with?
PS: First and foremost, his status in the media never dictated to me on how he has or should have treated me. I loved Deion for who he was, not for WHAT he was. And when you’re in a situation you can’t see the forest for the trees – as they say. I didn’t realize it was abuse until going through this divorce… I knew Deion was a very difficult and rude person at times, but I saw him treat everybody close to him like that. So I simply thought it was his personality… There was never any rhyme or reason with his mood swings, so after years of seeing and experiencing this type of behavior I just accepted it as him being him. So, I began to ignore it. When it became physical I had no choice but to defend myself and my children. I loved him and believed him EVERY single time he said he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again. I loved Deion and loved our family. Yes common sense tells you it’s abuse, but common sense isn’t always turned on, especially when you’ve been it in so long. I was in it for 13 and a half years…
Many of us probably feel the Sanders divorce drama was over the top, but the points made in the interview are very important. We are hoping she is getting on her feet and that she and other women can take what was stated to maintain and build a beautiful and more focused life.